It's been around for a quite a while now - the need for Starbuck's baristas to ask for your name as you order your double decaf latte with soya milk. This policy has elicited a wide response from most of my friends - and it has not exactly been a positive one.
I wonder exactly how it came to pass - and what SB's motivation is for this dumb-ass idea.
So all the top creative types are sitting in SB's headquarters one day in Seattle wearing jeans and hoodies. A "Thought Leader" walks in demanding ideas on how to improve a customer's experience at SB. The whiteboards come out, coloured pens are deployed and the creatives get busy. It's going to be a long day.
Finally after much heated debate and the consumption of copious amounts of caffeine (it is a coffee company after all), the creatives are ready to present their idea to their leader. It's a eureka moment, a game-changer, a paradigm shift, it's classic outside-the-box thinking.
"Mr Thought Leader, our idea is to ask each and every one of SB's billion-or-so customers their names as they order their coffee...this new level of interaction with our customers will not only enhance their Starbuck's experience at the point of sale but will inculcate a renewed sense of loyalty that will see them return again-and-again."
Instead of instructing security to remove the creatives from the building, Thought Leader is inspired by this new vision for SB and instructs that all stores be educated immediately on this new customer service protocol. This is going to take SB to the next level.
A typical SB store in London in rush hour. Queue a mile long. People need their caffeine fix asap. There is a sense of agitation in the air. Coco from Argentina is behind the till taking orders - and names.
Tall Dry cappuccino please?
Que'?
Tall Dry cappuccino
Tall Skinny Late?
No, TALL - DRY - CAPPUCCINO
One tall dry Cappuccino?
Perfect - thanks
Your name please sir?
Neil
Que'?
Neil
Nell?
No, NEEE-ILLL
Neeee-illl?
No just Neil.
OKay...that will be 2 pounds please Sir
Customer eventually leaves the store with a cold cappuccino and KNEEL scrawled in uneven print on the side of the paper cup.
Which part of this scenario has enhanced Neil's experience of buying a cappuccino at Starbucks? My guess is if Neil had no interaction with a barista but received a piping hot cappuccino within 5 minutes of walking into the store he would be a much happier camper.
Asking for your customer's name in that sort of "instant" retail environment is not a game-changer. It just irritates people and I bet that if you were to extrapolate that pointless "interaction" across all SB stores - well, that's a lot of wasted time that could be better spent actually selling coffees.
Out.