Yaya Toure plays for Manchester City. Yaya Toure earns £230,000 PER WEEK. That's ONE MILLION POUNDS PER MONTH (roughly) or 12 goddamn million pounds per year! In return Yaya Toure kicks a round ball around a rectangular field; apparently he does a pretty good job of it otherwise he would only get £150,000 per week. Anyway...
Yaya's team recently won the Premiership Title. It's Arab owners had a big cake in celebration. (or so they would like us to believe). It so happened that Yaya celebrated his birthday around the time the team won this title. Apparently his cake wasn't of the same magnitude. Yaya is now on record as saying he feels "under appreciated" by his team. "They didn't shake my hand on my birthday..."
Sorry....what?
Is this really a story that is dominating the news headlines? Yup...it fits neatly into the "missing" theme; missing sailors in the Atlantic (PS: what happened to the missing Malayasian passenger jet or is that "old news" now?) missing school girls in Nigeria; missing murderers and armed robbers who have just walked out of UK prisons....and Yaya's "missing" birthday cake!!
It bloody well boggles my mind; if my dad sat me down and said "Son, here is £12m per year; however we won't be calling you on your birthday" I would be like "Dad, no bother. Strike it from your mind. My birthday never happened." But that's just me.
Sky news suspects that it could be a cunning negotiating ploy. Yaya is about to throw his toys, we better pay him more cash. If that is so then I want to start being a player's agent; because if that is the sort of tactic that will knock another £50k out of a club's owners (and that's per week) then I am sure that I can raise that by a further £50k just by being a bit more race-y. "Yaya feels aggrieved because of the banana flavoured protein shake that he is required to drink before practice" (Yaya is black and therefore anything linked to bananas is no-go territory.)
So yes it's confirmed, the world has officially gone loco, crazeee, nuts....and mad (except Yaya, he's just under appreciated)
Out.