It's been a long hard day in the swamp, but I couldn't let the latest example of stupidity in its purest form go by without some comment.
Peggy Sue is on a fun day out with Mom and Dad. Given that she is only nine, Mom and Dad take her down to the local bowling alley for an afternoon of soda pop and pins. Well that's where she should have been taken, but instead Dumb-and-Dumber take her to down to their local shooting range because that's an awesome place to spend quality time with one's little girl.
Anywho Dumb-and-Dumber blast away at paper targets imagining that they are somehow America's last defence against Jihadi-John-and-Jane. Peggy Sue has nothing to do - because generally firearms are dangerous in the hands of a nine year old - so she takes out her smart phone and texts her friend Jody about what an aaaaaaaaasome time she is having at the county fair - sorry no, Big Jim's Gun Alley.
She watches Dumb-and-Dumber pumping round-after-round into Jihadi-John-and-Jane like two crazed Rambo wannabees, and sums up the situation with one word:
"Losers"
Dumb-and-Dumber eventually withdraw from the firing range but not before Dumb asks Peggy-Sue:
"Peggy-Sue would you like to have a go?"
Peggy-Sue is a bit reluctant; she's more into Justin Bieber than Smith-and-Wesson, but if it means that Dumb-and-Dumber will pack it in and take her to the county fair, then so be it.
"Okay Dad, but can we go to the fairground after this?"
"Sure thing Peggy-Sue"
So Big Jim talks Peggy-Sue through the safety procedures and then proceeds to line up Jihadi Jane for Peggy-Sue to have a pop at. Big Jim then slots a magazine of ammo into the gun and hands it to Peggy-Sue.
Peggy-Sue doesn't like this one bit; she's supposed to be on a merry-go-round, but with Dumb-and-Dumber's words of encouragement ("You go Peggy-Sue, nail that sonafabeeatch") in her ears she closes her eyes and squeezes the trigger. The gun dances in her hand, bullets blaze from the barrel but instead of shredding JJ, Big Jim takes the heat instead.
True story. Names changed to protect identities. Type of weapon = UZI machine gun. Comment from local sherriff (who has recently had a lobotomy):
"It's so easy for us to go back and look at something that's very tragic and say, 'Boy! Why did that occur? That should not have happened because of,'" said Mohave County Sheriff Jim McCabe. "Well, maybe from now on, that 'because of' will be in place."
Yeah like maybe not allowing a nine year old to fire an automatic weapon capable of firing 600 rounds per minute.
Good thing that Dumb-and-Dumber caught the build up on smart phone (to show Gran and Gramps over biscuits and gravey) so that Peggy-Sue will always have something to remember that fun day out with Mom and Dad.
Out.