Good morning my faithful few (or maybe that is many but when I started trying to unravel Google Analytics I had a brain freeze!) and welcome to the first formal edition of Negative-SoundByte. That has a good ring to it; I am about to fulfil my part of the social contract that I set out last week – and that is to write and entertain you (hopefully) – for a few minutes each week on a Monday morning. All you need do is read on.
NSB will be available online from 8 o’ clock and will be about a page in length. (Nothing worse than a blog post that just rambles on until you actually miss your stop because you have fallen asleep!)
Yours in lightness and joy! (as much as you can muster on Monday morning)
Christopher
Here goes…
We did something quite interesting as part of the Escape Tribe recently. We visualised that little voice in our heads that pops in every-now-and-then to put us down; to tell us how useless we are; to stamp out our happy thoughts; to eat at our self confidence and to dampen our enthusiasm for life. There is loads of literature out there about this; the monkey-in-your-brain or the saboteur/imposter syndromes are but a few labels for it. The saboteur is not helpful; especially if you are trying to make career changes – or any sort of change for that matter.
They got us to name it and then make a clay model of it. My saboteur is called Brett (for no other reason than it was the first name that came into my head).
You can imagine Mrs H’s expression when I came home one evening after the course and asked her to please bake Brett at 200 degrees – and to handle with care as at this point he was not yet hard. (Easy there!) A very arched eyebrow followed by a long suffering look followed by a large GLUG of Pinot and off she went to turn on the oven. Brett is now hard (Easy….!) and has pride of place on my bookshelf in my study.
Brett has been dormant for many years but his influence has been manifest. As long as I stay in finance earning a few bob, Brett stays in the shadows. But holy smoke start talking about change, transition, launching clans, long hair, bare feet, social capitalism, tribes, escape, and Brett – well he is not a happy clay face at all! And he has re-emerged to piss all over my parade!
Take an example:
So Mrs H and I have an impromptu braai (“barbeque” for my international readership) the other evening. Solid husband-and-wife-time around the Weber. She has the tongs and I make myself useful by staying out of her way. After a festival of meat I settle into a large Scottish Single Malt 14 Year Old with a Romeo and Juliet No 2 Cigar. (Standard capitalist fare for all those without a job!)
We get into a real D&M around the meaning of Brett and the impact he has. Mrs H reaches for a large goblet filled to the brim with Cab Sav! She is worried that I am wandering barefoot off the Common with beads in my hair and a reefer stuck behind my ear. But I when I explain the context for Brett and what he means and the importance of being able to "recognise" him, she relaxes, nods sagely and reaches for the 14 year old (only jokes, I made that last bit up.) But wine consumption has been steadily on the rise since I announced this transition! ☺
I then head upstairs with a warm whiskey-and-cigar glow, seat myself down on the sofa in my study and am just about to fire up an episode of Stranger Things (great show by the way) when Brett saunters in, plonks himself down beside me, looks over at me and whispers conspiratorially: “You know the best way to placate Mrs H is to let things go back to normal. You know what I mean Christopher – can all this “change”; put your suit back on and get out there and do what you do know. Trust me, it’s for the best. You don’t have what it takes to do anything else.”
I was like “Dude! You’re interrupting my whiskey-and-cigar haze! Who looks to put a man down after such an epic evening? Yiisseee….not cool!”
And therein lies the threat of the saboteur. He can strike at any time. He can pull you down when you think you are up. But there are ways to dilute his influence that I am learning about and trying to put into practice. Negative-SoundByte is brilliant in this regard.
So if you have a "Brett", never fear; just get some clay, attach a name and get baking! Acknowledgment is the first step in dealing with the Clay Monster!
OUT.
Pic of the week: - for some visual variety
I took this in Whitstable last Christmas. You can just make out the wind turbines in the distance. I like the clean lines, the light, the shadow and the way the horizon is almost balanced on the pole in the middle of the photograph.
