Good morning Negative-Soundbyters! Wow but it is “pikswart” out there at the moment. (It’s a lovely expression that don’t you think; a bit of the old mother tongue to demonstrate my bilingual capabilities! I am sure you can guess what it means.)
I hope you all had suitably awesome weekends!
It wasn’t so lekker for the Bokke mind you. They managed to lose every game on their Nothern hemisphere tour culminating in a loss to Wales over the weekend. And Wales are complete crap at the minute. Interestingly enough the Bokke lost to Italy last weekend who were beaten by Tonga this weekend. If you can follow that this early in the morning it basically means that Tonga is capable of beating the Bokke. Now Tonga has a population of only about 25 people and I would be very surprised if you were able to identify exactly where it is on a map. Up until recently I thought it was an African country - ouch!
It is in fact a group of Polynesian islands – all 169 of them. (Who says NSB isn’t educational!) Gives new meaning to getting down to the ground for practice:
“Love, I’ll be back in about 2 days.”
And off you paddle in your dug out if you don’t happen to live on the island with the training ground!
Ja-Nee, the Bokke are super-kak and I fear that things are not going to get much better in the short term (or the medium term or the long term!). I saw my sister wearing an English rugby shirt over the weekend and I wondered whether given that we do have some English heritage and it is my adopted home (and Mrs H is English) whether I could ever don the “The English Rose”.
And the answer to that question is……..”FOCK NO!”
Yours in getting accustomed to being labelled a loser (no in fact we are already a bunch of losers!!)
Hoddy!
So there I am. Lycra-ed up to the hilt. The Nike Swish is prominent. Latest Garmin tech on my wrist. Heart monitor wrapped around my pumped pectorals. Breathing steady. Heart rate slow. The soothing tones of Barbara Streisand on my Spotify “Lets get amped” playlist resounding in my ears. Built for speed. “High performance” - my two middle names! Mo Farah and all that Mo-bot bollocks watch out. There is a new Ho-bot in town.
Yeah whatevs!
All I was doing was heading out for a run around our local common. It was frigging cold so I was festooned in brightly coloured spandex, because it was also getting dark.
I have been rehabilitating my right leg for some months now. When I tweaked the nerve in my lower back in “childs pose” (see Edition: 3 “Head Banging”) I managed to lose all power in my leg which was a very odd sensation. One minute I had two perfectly functioning legs; the next minute just one. As you can imagine that made walking a bit tricky. Anyway after nearly four months I am now able to go out for gentle runs as I continue to rebuild the strength in this leg.
So I get myself into a some sort of rhythm. Both legs appear to be working in a co-ordinated fashion. So that’s good. Breathing all over the shop; but that’s to be expected given that I haven’t exercised like this in some time. I head on to this path that cuts through this forested area. Now bear in mind that it is PIKSWART and I am basically running blind. So a blind, partially hobbled, spandex’ed twit is running in the woods; it feels like a recipe for a bit of…..
DOGGING!
I ran by this park bench and there was a bike leaned up against it. One guy was seated. And another guy had his head in the seated guy’s lap. And his head appeared to be moving. Now my brain wasn’t quite firing on all cylinders as it was engaging mostly to keep me from falling over some tree roots. I couldn’t figure why two guys would be on a park bench in the dark. What on earth were they doing?
And then a mini eureka moment! Aaaaah yes! You cheeky devils! One oke was blowing the other oke on a Tuesday evening on a park bench on Streatham Common. As you do. Or no. I definitely don’t do - that’s for sure! I mean like:
“Love I am just heading up to the pub to meet the boys…..”
Um.
Don’t get me wrong I am not averse to bringing nature into one’s sex life to the extent of a secluded beach on a tropical island in Tonga; but a cold, damp, dark night on a common in London. Not for me thanks. No Sir!
What I only discovered later on www.swingingheaven.com (I googled the term “dogging” as I wasn’t exactly sure whether I was now classified as a dogger!) is that Streatham Common is known for a bit of mid evening frivolity and is very popular with the “dogging” community. I mean these guys are jacked up (no pun intended of course) - dogging etiquette; a dogging forum; even dogging ads!
However this is not quite what I had in mind when I thought about giving the community “a hand” and I am less likely to take the scenic route on my next mid evening saunter!
OUT!
Pic of the week:
Some Hyde Park autumnal magic - for the time being!
