Good morning Negative Soundbyters! – and what a lovely morning in London it appears to be. I am looking out across blue skies which augers well for the day ahead. That said we all know that you can experience all four seasons in one day in this town; one minute you are in shorts next it’s time to don scarf and mitts! (a nice alternative to the word “gloves” don’t you think – mitts…okay Hoddy move on your readers don’t have all day…)
It was Mrs H’s birthday this weekend. I like to think that I outdid myself – a lovely scarf from LV (for those of you who don’t read Vogue or hang out on Bond Street in a pimped-up Roller, LV means “Louis Vuitton”) and then a Michelin star lunch at Claridges no less. (Mrs H still had to make breakfast though; I do a mean scrambled eggs and salmon but she had her pregnant heart set on bacon croissants. I met her half way by brewing the tea!)
Our lunch was certainly a culinary extravaganza. A case in point was our starter. It said hake and parsley mousse (paraphrased of course!) which I took to mean “hake and parsley mousse” because why wouldn’t I? Well Hoddy you Michelin-star philistine you!...The plate arrived with this bright green creamy mousse on it topped with little flowers and other accoutrements (bringing my French out) and I peered closely at it because I couldn’t for the life of me work out what the chef had done with the hake. “Mrs H, where’s the hake?” I asked innocently. Mrs H looked back at me with a slightly pained expression (looking dazzling in her green LV scarf) and said “It’s hake-and-parsley mousse.” Shoot me down for thinking that I was about to tuck into a succulent piece of hake – no Sir! It had been “moussed”; I could smell it and taste it, but I sure couldn’t see it! For the rest of the meal I kept all food related questions to myself. My bank account was a touch lighter afterwards but both Mrs H and I had a brilliant afternoon which will always be remembered for the green…….. (That said, the Little Guy didn’t much take to the hake-and-parsley mousse either because Mrs H experienced some tummy rumbles later that night!)
Anything on the geopolitical landscape to report:
Ah yes…back to the Motherland this week again; this time it’s Jay-Zee (Or Number 1 or El-Presidente) putting his big white sneakered foot in it. (The reference to the sneakers being that whenever No 1 gets into his traditional Zulu garb to do some dancing, he wears white sneakers which most certainly were not part of Shaka-warrior attire back in the day! I digress…) He fired his very well respected Finance Minister and has put somebody in his place who has zero finance experience and who might be a tad more pliable when it comes to making the Treasury “more accessible” to the masses (that being Jay Zee, his outsized family and all his cronies). I haven’t looked at the markets this morning, but no doubt they will not look too favourably on Number 1 getting his snout ever closer to the ultimate trough! More on this as the weeks unfold….
Let’s get to the anecdote.
Big Love to All
Hoddy X
Field mice.
As the name implies mice should live in fields or commons or gardens; I don’t really care which but for some reason mice like to come indoors. Last I looked field mice are not pets. Yes, you can buy mice and even rats from petshops but your bog standard field mouse from the Common should not really be stroked or petted by your children say.
Mrs H and I live in an old Victorian house in Streatham. It has a garden and the Common is just up the road but one would classify it as “urban”. You don’t see cows or sheep grazing anywhere; Countryfile are unlikely to visit us. As you know we are having some works done which has necessitated our builder having to make the cavity beneath the house accessible so that he can run wiring to electrify the extension. This void will only be covered once the new utility goes in; so for now we are “exposed” shall we say.
Enter the Mission Impossible Mouse.
Cheese-and-rice! M.I. Mouse and his mates have decided that our current utility area is their new playground. I know this because – my intention is not to gross you out here – they leave little offerings on the floor for me to clean up every morning! We have always relied on these devices that you plug into the wall that apparently emit a high frequency signal that basically send your mice next door. Not M.I. Mouse. Just to say “Ef you Hoddy” they disco-ed it up all night and dropped off a little treasure just below the device. I was not happy.
The straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back was Avocado-gate. I love avocado. I reckon I could eat an avocado with practically anything including hake-and-parsley mousse. Up to now we haven’t kept our avos in the fridge; they have been in the avocado bowl sitting on the kitchen countertop out of harm’s way – or so I thought.
So I come to make to mash some avo for my morning breakfast – and lo-and-effing behold MI Mouse has gnawed a great big hole in not just one but both of my prized avocados. I mean like WTF? Whoever heard of a field mouse having a penchant for avocados. I was incredulous.
I turned to the void and with black bin bags and about a mile of gaffer tape I sealed off what I thought was M.I. Mouse’s access point. I sealed it to the point that if a nerve agent was released in my house seeking refuge in the void would be our safest option. I looked on my handiwork with a certain sense of pride. I am not really a DIY man and I should be kept away from power tools but in this instance I thought I had done well; “thought” being the operative word.
Job done I reached into the fridge for a cold frosty as a reward and out of the corner of my eye I saw M.I. Mouse squeeze through a pinhole-sized gap in the “no go” zone and do the soft shoe shuffle across the utility room floor pulling the proverbial zap sign at me as he went by. I tried to stamp on him but I missed. (Don’t worry mice lovers I didn’t really but in my minds-eye I had an enormous cartoon sized mallet splatting MI Mouse all over my utility!)
I am now going to have to resort to more drastic measures – pest control. I am an animal lover but this has gone far enough. M.I. MOUSE YOU ARE MINE!!
OUT
Pic of the week:
Lady in Red....
