Edition 25: North Vancouver Football Club Rules Britannia!

Good morning Negative Soundbyters! Is it my imagination or has the weather turned against us here in London? I am sitting in my study in my red reindeer track pants (a Christmas present from Mrs H in case you were wondering!) and a hoodie to keep the chill at bay! A far cry from Cape Town where my parents are experiencing a serious drought to a point where Mr Hodson Senior is having to shower in a bucket and then recycle the water to keep what’s left of the garden alive. I know the feeling! At one point during our build (which is still going on mind you) we had no water in our upstairs shower and I had to revert to the bucket which is no fun especially in winter! Eish! Unfortunately there is no opportunity to recycle the water as my garden has been decimated by the builders although I did spot a rose making a decent effort to bloom in amongst the rubble, cement packets, discarded wooden pallets and Mrs H’s favourite – empty pot noodle containers!

I think I suffered my first senior moment on the weekend....

Mrs H and I went down to one of our favourite streets in Clapham called Northcote Road. It is full of wine-bars, eateries and market stalls and there is always a good vibe about it. It is also slap-bang in the middle of what is termed “Nappy Valley”; it is fair to say about a gazillion buggies take to Northcote each with one – and sometimes two – minis tucked into their seats taking in the day’s proceedings. Of course this can make the lunchtime dining experience a little more interesting from a noise perspective but I keep telling myself that it is all good practice for the days ahead :)

So we find a place to eat. It is ramma-jammed to the rafters – buggies, kids and fraught adults are everywhere. The manager points to a table so close to the entrance that the table might as well have been on the pavement. Mrs H looks at me sceptically; she knows that I don’t DO tables near doorways but I decide to suck it up and we take a seat. We are not only seated on top of the door but there are a couple of tots at the table next to us enjoying themselves – loudly. But I tell myself that’s ok – kids make noise and you had better get used to it.

Looking back on it now even if there had not been a single mini in that restaurant I would still needed to have run screaming for the hills. I was sitting facing into the restaurant with my back against the pane window and every time the door was closed (or rather banged shut!), the entire building would shudder and the window would rattle and send these tremors up-and-down my spine. THWACK! Tremor…tremor…tremor. THWACK! Tremor…tremor…tremor. I was trying to grin it off but the THWACKS combined with Little Johnny trying to eat his sister eventually did me in. I literally couldn’t handle it. Mrs H could see that I was slowly going into shock and decided that we had better evacuate before I turned into a stark raving loon intent on eating Little Johnny or tearing the door off its hinges and throwing it into the street!

I had to have a chocolate milkshake to calm my nerves and restore my bright, cheery self. (Mrs H definitely didn’t see any cheer or brightness; just a 42 year old reduced to an anxious quivering idiot struggling to handle a banging door and a few kiddies!!).

No events of geopolitical significance this week other than a new President of France who reminded me that I am getting into my middle ages! To think that he is not even forty yet. Viva la France!!

And to this week’s anecdote we go.

Big Love to you all.

Hoddy X

Elite academies.

A very good friend of mine came into London from Vancouver accompanying his son who is on a European football tour. His son is ten and their team had organised to play a similar age group of some of the Premier League academy teams.

They were based down in Brighton and Jay invited me to come and watch Ben play at the American Express Brighton and Hove Academy. There I was thinking that it would be a casual affair with the kids kicking a ball about, having a bit of fun and swopping some stories amongst themselves about their favourite Premier League players or whatever ten year olds talk about these days.

Erm. No.

This was a professional encounter in a professional environment with a lot of 10 year professionals running around on the instruction of a lot of track suited coaching professionals! It was quite something.

The facilities – well, think of a sort of Google style campus and you are probably not that far off. Except I expect that at Google you can walk on the grass; at this academy walking on the grass is strictly VERBOTEN, which is somewhat ironic given that football is played on grass, but anywho…

Gaining access to the complex was like entering the CIA buildings in Langley; if your name wasn’t on a preapproved list then forget about it. Thankfully Jay had me down otherwise it could well have been plastic cuffs and an orange jump suit for me.

We were guided to the pitch by a steward; strictly no food, drink or cameras. Pints-and-pies are not part of the academy offering. And of course everyone could be an undercover scout hence the camera rule.

We arrived just after kick because our bus had broken down on the way to academy. We had wondered whether they would postpone kick off to allow all the parents who were on the bus to find an alternative way of getting to the ground. Forget about it. Not our problem. You’ve come all the way from Canada, but if we say kick off is at 3:15, kick-off is a 3:15 not a second later!

As for the game? Wow there are some talented youngsters out there. And the game was played in excellent spirits with only very muted celebrations every time a goal was scored – which is so very unlike what happens when they get older. Ben played very well and generally the team from Vancouver did themselves proud but they were up against a team that is literally the breeding ground for the Premier League stars of tomorrow. It was a pleasure to watch.

It was interesting though passing the academy team on their way to the changing room after the match. No smiling, no laughing, no banter. Another day ticked off in the life of a young academy footballer destined for greatness – or not (as the majority find out).

A big thank you to Jay and Ben for inviting me to the match. It was a fantastic experience; even if I didn’t get to have a pint on the sidelines! (We more than made up for it back in Brighton however – not Ben of course because he is still too young!)

OUT.

Pic of the Week:

The old Pier in Brighton....we had a beer on the new one :)