Edition 34: "Lights, Camera, Action!"

Good afternoon Negative Soundbyters! I am sitting with my feet up, laptop perched on my barn-door sized quads (Ja whatevs; mini chicken nuggets more like it), watching the Poms run after a lot of leather in the cricket. A few posts back I was lamenting the fact that we couldn’t seem to get anything over our old colonial foe (and that includes a bit of leg….easy now….while it might be that many an English lass has a “fine leg” it is also a position you might find yourself fielding at in a cricket match!) and although we got absolutely pummelled in the first test match it looks like we have excellent chance of drawing the series.

I sometimes try and explain the concept of a test match to Mrs H; it’s an exchange that doesn’t really go anywhere. And as soon as I say that it is played over five days and may result in a draw, the response is…”nobody wins after all that time; what a stupid game!”. I say it’s a game for the cricketing connoisseur; Mrs H is not buying it, again muttering about it being “stupid”. I forgave her though because she did fire up some scones for tea which would have done her Nan proud, who is the inspiration for the recipe. I say “thank you Nan” because I delight in them every time Mrs H produces them – although I still can’t make up my mind about whether it should be cream or jam first

I spent a bit of time in the garden today. A real gardener doesn’t use gloves, but no sooner had I attacked a few intransigent weeds with my garden hand fork than a large blister appeared on the palm of left hand. I mean anyone would think that I had soft hands after all those years tinkering with Excel spreadsheets(!) but I was not to be deterred. Out came the padded garden gloves and I toiled merrily away for a few hours. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was doing, but I do believe I am making marginal improvements. I think I spotted some new grass patches amongst all the new weeds which given the barren state of garden made me feel like I had earned my cream tea!

In case you were wondering there is still no sign of Baba H! He is still chilling out in the womb and while he gives Mrs H a good kicking every-now-and-then, he seems fairly content to remain hidden from the world for now. Mrs H and I went to the cinema last night; it would have added a very interesting dimension to the “War of the Planet of the Apes” if the little man had decided that it was time to line up the delivery chute! Some popcorn, a coke and baby with your movie please. Ha! Out of the eight couples in our NCT class, two babas have arrived safely; two down (literally speaking!), six to go!

It is surreal feeling to know that it is just a matter of a few weeks (or days!) before my own flesh-and-blood makes it into the world. Now it is a waiting game; I have my bag packed, because apparently labour can last for more than a few hours! Who would have thought! There I was thinking that Mrs H would go into labour, we would high tail it to the hospital, Mrs H would get into the stirrups, and Baba H would appear shortly thereafter! Ha – in our collective dreams; that’s the Hollywood version of giving birth.

I have had to give some serious consideration to where I will position myself. I have decided that north of the border is my most favoured vantage point. We watched an NCT video where a father-to-be (FTB) was filming his missus’s reaction to pushing a melon through the eye of a needle (she seemed to be experiencing a certain level of discomfort it must be said). Suddenly the midwife said she spotted the little baba’s head! Well the FTB grabbed his camera and sprinted south to film the main event. I was like “Er…I am not so sure about that….”

Look is it one you are going to bring out at the family gathering at Christmas? The family has had a big sumptuous feast, egg nog is flowing freely and then you decide to bring out the videos of the kids. We all remember those. For instance my Dad has some benign footage of me playing on a beach with a spade. I try and hit my sister with it. She starts crying. And everyone ooooooos-and-aaaaaaaaahsss at how cute we all are.

I am not sure though that the old man thought about taking some cine footage of me making an appearance from the womb itself. Practically it would have been tough as well. Back in the day the handheld digital cameras did not exist – it was all reels and actual film! I can’t imagine the old man saying “Judy hold him in for another few minutes while I set the tripod up and get the film loaded!”

I am therefore comfortable with my position at the head of the table as it were; and I think Mrs H is happy with that as well because she will need a hand to crunch and somebody to vent some of her frustrations at! I plan to be a bastion of strength (the gas-and-air will help with this!), and to not inadvertently use the word “push” when the chips are well and truly down!

The countdown has started!

Big love to you all.

Hoddy X

Pic of the Week

This looks like a film set doesn't it? It's a group of shops just off the South Bank...the nooks and crannies of London. Love it.