Negative Soundbyters – a hearty good evening to you all! In my case the heartiness is likely to be accompanied by a good deal of coughing and spluttering meaning this edition comes to you straight from my sickbed. Yup I am man down! The one saving grace to my right is a glass of liquid amber straight from the Scottish Highlands, a vital weapon in my battle against the dreaded germ. To my left a half-eaten Flake chocolate; it has no medicinal qualities whatsoever - real or imagined – but it tastes good.
Rafey also has a snotty nose and a rumbling cough. I think we both got caught on the flight home from Spain last weekend. Babies are germ magnets and apparently once they start going to nursery they almost become mobile incubators for all sorts of airborne gremlins which they are all too happy to pass onto each other and then onto to everyone in their own families.
It’s strange in a way because the number of objects my dear son has inserted into his mouth over the last 10 months, I do wonder how he hasn’t turned green and grown an extra appendage. The other day I had to request that he stop licking the armrest of a Southern Rail train seat. If there is anything that is likely to upset a finely tuned living organism it’s any sort of “exchange” with that particular rail franchise. I had plenty when it decided that running trains on time wasn’t part of its core business, but I never licked anyone from Southern Rail in the process! We can move on now…!
I haven’t focussed on any events of geopolitical significance over the past few posts, but I did watch an impromptu press conference that the Big Blonde Gerbil gave after seeing an emissary from Little Rocket Man; LRM had his representative hand The Donald a letter, but what was odd about said letter was the size; it appeared to be A3. Unfortunately The D didn’t open it but I bet that LRM had got his best crayons out and either drawn a very large red rocket or a very large middle finger or possibly a combination of both.
The Donald seemed enthusiastic though about the prospects of meeting Little Rocket Man in June. He also pointed out that Japan and South Korea would be solely responsible for all reconstruction costs in relation to that failed state and even managed to have another “dig” at Mexico over the border wall which it was refusing to fund (not unsurprisingly!).
I personally believe that The Donald has more chance of convincing those “tunnel digging, tequila drinking, Mexicanos” to pay for his wall than Kim ill Jung Kong relinquishing his nuclear capabilities – as in zero, nada, zilch, cero. While he believes in the cult of personality, the North Koreans believe that Kim has divine right. Aaahh maybe that’s why he’s trying to inveigle his way in – tips for his next Presidential campaign! Good Luck America!
And on that nuclear note…a big love to all!
Hoddy X
Standing.
We stand in lines. We stand waiting for trains. We stand at music concerts. We stand for national anthems. We stand over braais. But can you remember when you first learnt to stand?
Rafey has a newfound skill – standing. And that presents a newfound challenge for Mrs H and I because Rafe now wants to practice standing ALL the time which means that we need to be in very close proximity ALL the time in case he overextends himself.
It also means that I spend an inordinate amount of time close to objects that I generally have no interest in, in a slightly hunched position with my arms hugging the space around the baba while he explores. For instance Rafe spent a solid 10 minutes standing next to his pushchair exploring very deliberately every inch of it at chest level. No zip, strap, catch or handle was left unturned as he sleuthed his way around it. Not exactly a spectator sport….
It was then onto the umbrella stand next to our front door which he inspected in detail for a solid five minutes before finished off with the door’s floor level security lock. He was engrossed – I was just pained!
When I find that my back is about to break I pick him up and attempt to force him into a sitting position next to his books or toys. Um no. He stiffens into rigor mortis mode which means that he becomes impossible to bend, his face starts turning a reddish hue, and the air raid siren begins to sound. He’s just about saying that if he wanted to sit, he would do so – from a standing position!
Even when seated, he has standing in the back of his mind. He used his gadget arms to pull himself up the other day. One minute he was contentedly ripping Spot out of his basket (our most abused kiddie’s book – “Where’s Spot?”) and the next he was standing bolt upright, looking very pleased with himself. (We could tell from the width of the gummy smile!)
We know that this is the precursor to the next big step – speaking proverbially and literally! Our instinct is that he will bypass the crawling and head straight for vertical movement. Invariably his attempts at crawling end in some sort of face plant, legs and arms splayed and a very muffled air raid siren. I am reminded of a tortoise stuck on its back – only in reverse!
The days of Rafey sitting quietly on his play-mat keeping himself amused are becoming ever more fleeting; and the days of his parents enjoying a moment of quiet respite – well, they are about to go the way of the Dodo!
OUT :)
Pic of the Week
The lamp and The Shard just about connect...
