Negative Soundbyers - a Fine-Friday-Afternoon to you all. Apologies for the delay in this week's post. I have had a few days off from the swamp and my parents arrived from South Africa so I've been ensuring that my Mom ("Granny") doesn't keel over as Rafey puts her through her paces! Luckily she is made of stern stuff (and has the patience of a saint!) although her fitness levels have certainly been tested as Rafe has taken her on multiple tours of the house often with very close inspections of the washing machine, hoover, front door locking mechanism, various door knobs, place mats and the fridge! That said I don't think Granny and Grandpa would want it any other way....
Anyway it's a longer anecdote this week so I will keep the introduction short.
Big Love to All
Hoddy X
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Tradespeople.
We installed an alarm a few months ago as a precautionary measure. The installer was a “Fellow- Saffa” so I knew that he would do a sound job. He fitted the alarm and everything was hunky-dory; that was until a neighbour’s cat crept in through an upstairs window, slinked downstairs to have a sniff about and proceeded to activate the alarm. Mrs H rushed to protect Rafe and I was left to confront the “intruder” in my boxer shorts. I crept into our hallway and suddenly the foxy feline shot out from the sitting room, bolted upstairs and fled the crime scene through the bathroom window. I breathed an audible sigh of relief, wiped my sweaty brow and tried to reset the alarm. Um…no. The keypad wouldn’t respond except for a flashing orange light.
We were going away so I contacted “F-S” to enquire about resetting the alarm. Unfortunately he was away but he organised one of his compadres to come over and sort it out. Apparently because the cat had cut across two different zones the alarm reverted to some sort of manufacturer’s setting and therefore I couldn’t reset it. “F-S” hadn’t disabled this “feature” and hence he needed to return to rectify the issue.
What I didn’t anticipate was an email from “F-S” a few days later with a bill attached from his compadre for a £108 call-out charge which I was asked to settle ASAP and then “F-S” would return to deal with the manufacturer’s default setting. Naturally I didn’t see it this way and explained that none of this was of my making and that I wouldn’t be settling any invoice and could “F-S” please come over and finish the job. What I wasn’t expecting was any pushback!
And I quote with my thought process in [ ] as I read it:
I understand where you are coming from [that’s a good start] but it’s not something that has occurred to me before on any system, regarding multiple zones being activated together [um like because burglars don’t move between rooms – duh?] which lead to this lockout of the panel. Unfortunately I have to pay the engineer to reset your system whilst I was away which incurred unnecessary cost [not my problem] and it’s unfortunate that the cat did cause the problem and not me. [so I should be looking to the cat to recover the call-out charge…I mean like what the…[family blog])
Trying to be logical over email wasn’t getting us anywhere so I reverted to calling “F-S”:
Hoddy: F-S, it’s Christopher Hodson from No 68 Barrow Road speaking. Just calling up regarding my alarm system and the required reset….
F-S: Hi Christopher – yes no problem, but I would need the previous call-out charge to be settled….
Hoddy: F-S, look, that’s not really my problem….as far as I am concerned you installed a system that has a fault which needed sorting….
F-S [tone slightly raised]: But I was on holiday in Turkey and I helped you out – and it cost me nearly £30 in mobile phone charges because the bundle I bought didn’t include calls from Turkey….
Hoddy [with perplexed expression - why am I getting a story about his Turkish Talk-Talk issues]: Er….F-S, again, that’s not my issue that you were on holiday at the time…
F-S [getting excitable]: But you know Christopher, it was like thirty extra quid – and then I also had to pay the call out charge so I am like out of pocket by nearly £160….and the Talk Talk package…
Hoddy [both eyebrows raised - Is F-S losing the plot?]: Look F-S, our system is off-line. I don’t see why your holiday is becoming my issue but in the spirit of getting this sorted why don’t we split the call out charge between us…
F-S [now excited]: I can’t help that the cat activated two zones. I have never seen this before. It’s a lot of money Christopher….
Hoddy [trying to remain calm - why are we now back to the cat….?]: Er...F-S I am trying to be reasonable. Let’s move on from the cat. It will take you 5 minutes to reset our alarm…
F-S [normal tone]: That’s right Christopher, it’s a very quick process….
Hoddy [back to being perplexed - like…am I actually communicating with a Martian here? That’s probably doing the Martian a disservice.]: Er…so we’ll split the difference and you’ll come over…?
F-S [rustling papers in the background]: I have a good name in the industry Christopher. This has never happened to me before. That cat…. But okay, would you do £60…and then at least some of my Talk-Talk bill is covered….
Hoddy [would like to reach down the phone and strangle F-S]: Er….Okay F-S….that’s fine but please can you come over by the end of the week…..
F-S: Christopher….let me check my diary. How does 8:30 on Friday morning sound?
Now at least the cat can roam freely throughout the house and I won't have to call in the truculent "F-S" to untangle any more crossed wires!
OUT :)
Pic of the Week
"As my learned colleague has just pointed out the law clearly states...."
